Eulogies

Eulogies written once a year, Often more, too many, Inspired by shadow filled holidays, And feeling an emptiness so potent That it paralyzes us at times, Because there’s a lifetime of words To be said about the grief of a loved one, Infinite stories that will never be enough. And we write, because we have…

Long Distance Runner

And when he spoke the words to me: I love you, you’re beautiful, every part of you is beautiful in my eyes…. I ran. I ran scared and I ran hard, beating out a rhythm beneath my feet. I screamed, you don’t get to say those words to me! Yes, you may love me, but…

Let’s dance and dance and dance

Let’s dance until we can’t feel our legs swinging back and forth, Until the music drowns out the worst parts of me and you. I swear there’s no other person I’d rather be here with, but my mind is hazy, and all I can think of is your eyes and that smile and the way…

It’s This One

  Two TV characters stole our song, but they should probably keep it. We didn’t believe in it enough. We didn’t believe in our love, & yes, I’m going to call what we had that from now on. It was a too-sad song, overplayed at the time, & I can always count on a period…

Reprise

Let’s start with now and work our way backwards A timeline of my life thus far Some think I should be moving onward Not thinking so much of the past But when it haunts your every present It’s hard to make that last But, Emily, it’s been played over and over There’s no point in…

Scarlet Letter

Stones in my hands Coals for eyes Back ramrod straight Cardboard shoulders Stockings run Bloody knees ‘Neath a skirt torn Heft the weight Breathe deep Take aim A sobbing call for justice Memory fades out Remembering His hands upon my flesh Squeezing as I shuddered His fist in my hair pulling Exposing my throat to…

Heart of Stone

A heart of stone Found by Muddy clay Embedding Entwining Infusing Wrapping itself around the heart Becoming one Cementing together Softening Becoming stronger No longer two-dimensional Now with layers and texture Folding over Permeating Mixing Sand and clay and mud and stone Stone Stone softening Stone melting (How can this be?) Morphing Changing Something new…

Ache

Most times when the week ends, a time I sought all week, I feel the crush of water breaking, from dams vulnerable to bursting, I think of how my heart beat, the times I held my breath, pushing through another moment, all tiny moments, culminating in a wellspring of tears, uncontrollable. The pressure to perform,…

Before him, there was guilt and you…

I wish I could say sorry, wish that my words would do more than anger and humiliate you, Wish that you knew I meant every word, that I felt defeated and broken from the actions and consequences I’ve elicited form you, But my heart is full, and I’ve never been happy in the simply, beautiful…

natural rebellion, part 4

nowadays, we think we have a choice we mixed people of color choose your own ethnicity as if it were an adventure one of the above, all that apply   *other*   this skin i’m in says differently that skin tells the silent story that all eyes perceive and label and usually it’s one of…

The Last – a haibun

  My last morning as a 34-year-old will be spent in an MRI machine. The whirring will make my mind wander. I’ll think back to my 25th birthday, & how things changed so drastically just one week later. I’ll think about how I wasn’t ready for those changes. I’ll remember how I fought myself for…

Everybody seems so far away

I’m listening to Look on Down from the Bridge by Mazzy Star and there’s something about the concept of finding freedom by abandoning everything I’ve known that appeals to me. I’m sick of it all honestly. The women and the sex. The cigarettes and the booze. And this isn’t some ephemeral disease of the soul…