Existence

on

I don’t love you, but I don’t hate you either.
Sure, you’re a beautiful rose with its thorns,
but I just look at you for a second and then
carry on. Why? I have things to do man,
places to go, people to meet and things
move on regardless if I set the top spinning
or not, and I’d rather be in control.

99% of the people in this world
spend 99% of their time
wondering if 99% of the rest of the world
thinks of them
99% of the time.

And this is ‘knowledge’ which gives you ‘power’.
Plato’s writhing in the cave because that’s
exactly what he called the simulacrum
of the real. True knowledge edifies,
true knowledge encourages growth,
true knowledge reciprocates kindly,
true knowledge makes a twisted will straight,
true knowledge is not gossip,
true knowledge is not demeaning someone,
true knowledge shares what it knows,
true knowledge facilitates a longing for beauty
thereby creating an insatiable sorrow.

Here’s a little wisdom: If you can get rid of that
nagging notion that asks, ‘What will people think?’
You’ve exited the cave my friend and true knowledge
is yours.

True knowledge doesn’t live to prove,
true knowledge doesn’t seek validation,
true knowledge is self-satisfied and self-sustained
and yet feels profound loss.

You’re there, you’re here, crying, weeping, groaning
for your notion of love – something publicized,
something picture-perfect and it’s your prerogative
though it’s not love. You say sorrow fuels poetry
and you’re entitled to that perspective but that’s
just one vantage point. You can’t get over your past
and I can’t help you with that because it’s not my duty
to help those who’re unwilling to save themselves.

I write a hundred different things about a hundred different
truths but they embody no truth at all. Paradox much?
Think on it friend and you’ll realize that when she reads
my poetry, she says, ‘Oh, he bleeds when he writes! Oh, he’s
young and vulnerable!’
When she reads my messages she thinks, Oh, he’s paranoid!
Oh, he’s jealous and hates!
But if she ever did meet me she’ll know that I spend my
time drinking black coffee or Red Bull, smoking
Rothmans and reading comic books.

You exist, and I do too. I think we should leave it at that.
What say?

© Nitin Lalit Murali (2018)

You’ll find more of Nitin’s work at Fighting the dying light

6 Comments Add yours

  1. Powerful, full of truths that are hard to swallow.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nitin says:

      Yeah the truth stings doesn’t it? Now I have to practice what I preach. Thank you Emily.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Nitin, the profound nature of your writing knows how to set tops spinning. Do we exist as toys to please some unknown God? Is there purpose to our existence, if so would it be to seek “knowledge” or seek “truth”? Are we not the ultimate experiment in the making? And yes, there is an “insatiable sorrow”. Of course, I hope you know I think this piece is wonderfully powerful and thought-provoking. ~ Mia

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nitin says:

      Dear Mia. Thank you so much for your kind words. I often ask myself the first question. It haunts me because I come from a Calvinistic background and double predestination is a doctrine that tortured me for many years. The second question is a more nihilistic one but it has plagued me too. The third echoes the first. And with more knowledge comes more insight and perception which brings sorrow. Thank you for such a thought provoking comment – Nitin

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, Nitin.

        Liked by 1 person

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