And when he spoke the words to me: I love you, you’re beautiful, every part of you is beautiful in my eyes…. I ran. I ran scared and I ran hard, beating out a rhythm beneath my feet.
I screamed, you don’t get to say those words to me! Yes, you may love me, but I’m not beautiful! I know what I am. I know what I’m not. I’m not worth the words you wrote. I’m not worth your time of day. I’m not worth your love! But I know I don’t get to say who he loves and who he doesn’t. His heart made its decision and mine made its own as well.
He could have let me go, as had been done before, but he chose instead to run after me, his long legs easily catching up to mine. His hand reached out and snagged me to a stop, pulled me in. Wrapping his arms around my shoulders tightly, pushing my head to his chest, I felt the rumble of his words within my ear.
You don’t get to choose my words for me. When I say you are beautiful inside and out, that is because you are to my eyes. When I say you cleanse my soul and help me to stand tall, it is because you do. And when I say that my blood burns for you with love’s desire and passion, it is because it absolutely does. No more running away from this, from us. I will catch you every time.
The thing is, my love, I don’t want to run anymore. I’m tired. But I’m scared. And I honestly don’t know how this all works. Please. Reach out and catch me, hold me tightly, and please don’t ever let me go.
©️tara caribou – 2018
You can read more about love and running scared at Caribou Crossings.