Make Believe

Let’s throw the cushions on the floor
Pretend the floor is lava and run
Laughing and giggling, uncomplicated,
We were in love once, I remember,
At least in memories I’ve soaked
With years of longing and desire
Of everything we could have been
If I were me, exactly the same,
And you were you, but unconventional,
The girl I’ve sweetened in my dreams
Because you were never an angel
But I still couldn’t have you.

So let’s play a game,
Just like we used to, but less innocent,
Let’s walk on the beach and pretend,
I want to feel the sand beneath my feet,
Want to taste sangria on your lips,
I wanna be the magazine style fantasy;
Decadent but romantic, the entire package,
Not something hidden away from all,
Not kisses we never mention years later,
Because if we never mention it
It’s almost like it never actually happened.

Let’s build a fort and shack up in it,
Because if we’re going to keep secrets
We might as well make a go of it,
Yet all we do is pass a bag of gummies,
Let the sugar make us even more restless
Because we were born with hummingbird hearts,
Curious minds and reckless spirits,
Drawn to each other and then repelled,
Looking both in the mirror and at our rival
And honestly I don’t want to screw you,
But I want you tell me what this means,
Either turn the page or close the book,
You never even wanted to read it to start with.

Let’s tell the truth, for once in our lives,
You never loved me, never even wanted to,
I’m the siren you cast off to sea,
The girl you’ll remember in bed with your husband,
But you’ll never say my name out loud,
Oh but that’s the truth that’s simple to tell
The one that isn’t mine or easily verified,
Because it wasn’t real to you but it was to me
My feelings can’t separate make believe from reality,
And I never asked to play this game
Because I knew I wanted it more than you did,
And that was the hardest part to accept.

So let’s play a game, but not with each other,
Because some stories don’t have endings,
And maybe this is one of them,
I’ll find someone that’s not you and pretend,
Until you’re out of my system once and for all,
And I can’t pretend this doesn’t hurt,
As you decorate the door to your closet
To make it more inviting for your heart,
That refuses to reach it’s full potential.

© Richela Rosales Maroto 2018

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