blurred state of mind

Do you ever wonder what we could have been?

If we were two different souls, though I’ve grown far too introspective to let myself think we were good together.
Ruminations and such running through my mind
Keeping me trapped in the nightmares that refuse to let me sleep.
Such a tranquil state lost on my anxious heart.

Once you had been a comfort, a source to seek our to ease my mind,
Rest her in peace for a single moment.
But now….now all I have is the reflections on the hollowed surface of us.
Left to ponder how we became a shell of something so great,
I suppose I should have seen it coming,
So rapt in myself, in yourself, we never thought of us, and what we translated to for each
other.
We broke in the best way, easy and painless, falling apart instead of crashing together
forcefully.
And that should have told me the story had come to an end,
No need to write over the chapters once they put an end to themselves.
But we both foolishly tried to rewrite out story,
Shocked when it’s pages were torn and its ink smudged.

This state of mind, this Zen like trance comes and goes without you,
And I’m learning to ease into it, letting myself go of these memories and pain,
Transforming it into a new type of peace of mind.
So I do wonder what we could have been,
Sometimes even getting lost in the future we never had,
And that’s okay. That’s what I need to remind me of those chapters that were meant to be
put into words.
Such a tranquil peace of mind it gives me…

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