Transcription Beta (low confidence)
“Hey you,
Apologies for taking so long to return your call, I’ve been lost in America, MIA. I haven’t been able to think clearly, although maybe I’ve been thinking too clearly and that’s the problem, after all clarity is a matter of perspective. Thank goodness for humor, almost everything is funny… eventually. I feel strangely stagnant, empty, and void of creativity. My words have taken on the hollow echo of {{{self- doubt}}} {{{self- doubt}}} {{{self- doubt}}} captured in still vibration and an unbearable pitch of primal silence with the universal coordinates: (0,0). At this origin “MOVEMENT IS RESTRICTED” flashes neon. I’m vulnerable, fully exposed and only have the ability to move forward with my left leg and foot while the right foot lives in a solitary dead-pivot tethered to a faulty fundamental foundation: a cruel cement boot harnessed atop a mad gyroscope playing with momentum and force. The inertia of endless right-spinning circles is nauseating, dizzying and exhausting, while at the same time wildly invigorating for a mental masochist suffering with a Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance complex. When it’s bad, it’s very, very bad, and when it’s good it’s tolerable with Dramamine.
Love you!”
Copyright © 2019 Mia Pharaoh. All rights reserved.
Image: Sammy Slabbinck, Sour Times
It’s good to read your work again, Mia.
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Thank you, River!
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You’re welcome.
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Ground Zero is the place to forget
all the maddening mindlessness
and find the true inner superhero.
“The truth was obscure,
too profound and too pure,
to live it you have to explode.
In that last hour of need,
we entirely agreed, sacrifice
was the code of the road . . .
There’s a lion in the road,
there’s a demon escaped,
There’s a million dreams gone,
there’s a landscape being raped,
As her beauty fades
and I watch her undrape,
I won’t, but then again, maybe I might.
Oh, if I could just find you tonight.”
~ Bob Dylan
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David, thank you as always for the most original and wonderfully lyrical comments. So good to see you, hope all has been brilliant and 2019 is treating you and your loved ones well.
Is ground zero-zero where it all began,
The origins of original sin?
The good book says to remember
Those that broke the code
Where left to walk a lonely road.
And we can agree,
“The truth was obscure
too profound and too pure,
to live it you have to explode.
In that last hour of need,
we entirely agreed,
sacrifice was the code of the road.”
“There’s a neon light ablaze in this green smoky haze…
And a lonesome bell tone in that valley of stone
Where she bathed in a stream of pure heat…
There’s a babe in the arms of a woman in a rage
And a longtime golden-haired stripper onstage
And she winds back the clock and she turns back the page
Of a book that no one can write…”
…And she hears God say,
“it doesn’t matter who you are,
it doesn’t matter where you’ve been
you need not to be lost,
you can always come home.”
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“There is a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.”
~ Leonard Cohen
So good to hear from you again, Mia.
Your creative light has been sorely missed.
All things good on my side of the planet.
My last two unlaunched kids just recently
got married (so now they’re all someone
else’s problem 😎).
Thanks for tapping into one of my all time
favourite Dylan songs, written just after he
separated from his first wife, Sarah.
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Thank you, David. Delighted to read all’s well and congratulations on the marriages! I love Dylan’s lyrics, Cohen too!
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🙏😇💛
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As a long time prodigal son,
I say you can’t go far wrong
sticking to the code of the road
as you set your feet towards home.
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How easy it is to get lost… …in everything, anything, especially American things.
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Hi Tim, you are so right. It is easy to get lost in just about everything! Thankfully I have no problem laughing at myself.
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Forget the ‘almost’ – ‘everything is funny… eventually’. It is ~ George
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JGC, it is! In fact it can be hilarious! Thank you for making the jump over, I really appreciate it. Please enjoy what’s left of your Saturday. ~ Mia
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I forgot to add that that without self-doubt there is no art of any kind. That’s why you’re an artist.
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George, I’m laughing, self-doubt can be super painful yet keeps the creative process going, in the end it is without doubt worth it. Thank you.
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March has been self-doubt month. Actual self-doubt and talking a lot about self-doubt and how useful it is. It was a bit like an added bonus at the month to read your new post. Neat words, Mia and neat website as well. Also we were all talking about the death of my grandfather earlier this week. Sad at the time but so funny looking back. His death is a long story I’ll post about I think. Hope the sun is shining ~ JGC
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Instead of March Madness, March can now be known as, “The 31 Days of Self-doubt” to then be quickly followed by a self-doubt fast, that way one can regain some semblance of composure. But really without self-doubt I think egos would be a huge problem. Fortunately there’s just a day and a half left of March to go. George, I want to thank you for your neat words and making the leap over here. I have no doubt the story about your grandfather will lend itself to a marvelous post. The sun is shining, hopefully the rain and thunder storms are a thing of the past. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. ~ PM
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March 31st. each year could be ‘International Self-Doubt Day’. Just imagine a day when globally no decisions would be made apart from say, remembering to feed the cats and looking both ways before crossing a road. A lot of people could lose a ton of weight having doubts and not being sure what to order at the fast food outlets. Trump maybe would spend the day thinking before speaking, although he’d probably come up with International Big Ego Day. I guess the downside of Self-Doubt Day might see the entire population of Earth in their PJ’s all day not being sure what to wear – but is that such a bad thing? I have my doubts. A neat day for elephants as poachers start doubting the morality of what they’ve done. Anyhow, PM enjoy your Sunday of creative self-doubt; that’s what I going to do as soon as I’ve got over the hurdle of whether to go for black socks or grey ~ JGC
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JGC! Let’s make it so, followed by April Fool’s Day! A double whammy of self-deprecation! Nothing wrong with a PJ’s day, I think the entire globe would benefit from some thoughtfulness resulting in compassion. I like your take and thought process on this newest holiday, ‘International Self-Doubt Day’. Question, outcome: black or gray? Thank you for your nice wishes, it’s been a good day so far. Sending good vibes for a creative and inspirational week ahead. ~ PM
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I got this random thought. Superheroes ‘Self-Doubt Girl & Worrier Boy’ playing a never-ending game of chess. Then I got stuck. Superpowers? ~ JGC
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Mind reading, maybe that’s why it’s a never ending game of chess!
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Can self-doubters read minds? I think you maybe right PM. I’m driving in France today. Time to think this through ~ JGC
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JGC, mind reading as a superpower. Have an enjoyable time in France, safe travels. ~ PM
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Very odd – I read Zen & the art years ago, reading this I thought I shall have to read it again, so I went checked my shelves and cant see it, so went to amazon and checked Kindle price, special offer £1, so I thought I’ll have that, but it says I already bought it – checked my iPad, and its on there, went back to amazon and it says I bought it today – which is odd, unless I enacted buy with one click? How come its downloaded and on the iPad already? This wifi is Fast! If only I could read so quick – what a curious condition you seem to be in? Mine right now is like a billiard ball that just did a triple bounce! Good to see you back 🙂 ❤
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Hi Ogden, I have a copy of Pirsig’s book floating around here somewhere, not sure where at the moment. Enjoy reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance again. I’m sure if I read it again I would come away with a better understanding of the Metaphysics of Quality. I’m often in a curious condition, I wouldn’t have it any other way. 😉 Thank you for following the link, it’s nice to be back and it’s wonderful to see you here! Wishing you a wonderful afternoon, enjoy the rest of your weekend, please stay on the billiard table. 😉 💖
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I think when I last read it, most of the Zen passed me by & I just enjoyed it as a biker to biker sort of thing! I’ll probably see it the same way, I don’t need to know precisely what others are thinking, if they’re passing a feeling its more important – I loved the descriptions of the landscape and the camaraderie most as I recall 🙂
Sometimes I do actually hear an echo in my mind, just as they do in the movies – how curious is that? Perhaps I’m actually in one, as an unwritten extra someone merely began to imagine, then discarded, and now here I am, turning it all into some other “thing” 🙂
Lovely to see you again, really hope your afternoon is sultry and super ❤ 🙂
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As for the book, I think the take away is so individual and that’s the neat thing about it. Isn’t that the norm, to hear an echo? Wait, is that not normal? Should I be worried? I hear stuff all the time directed to me, and I reply to it! Yikes! 😉 I guess you can say I’m my own best audience, oh no! Thank you for the kind words, it has been sultry today, rain is forecast for Wednesday/Thursday, so I’ve been enjoying the sun and warm weather that’s arrived! 🙂 Have a splendid Monday! 💖
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I was listening to my thoughts for a short while today, and in answer to those thoughts connecting up ideas to / with others back and forth like a telephone exchange with crossed wires – total confusion! Perhaps thats how new gods are created 😀 😀 ❤
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I hope so, what a delightful idea, bring them on! 🙂 💗
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What a deliciously darkened cell The Literati Mafia is. I’m impressed. Marquis De Sade holding hands with Joan of Arc? I’d never heard of them previous. Methinks you may well have discovered the source of new imaginings, young Mia. Super post, by the way.
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Dear Mike, I like that, “Marquis De Sade holding hands with Joan of Arc”. I’m now imagining the two sharing a cell, that’s something only you could write. Perhaps it’s good to shake things up and turn them upside down once in a while. It’s wonderful to see you here, thank you for the kind words, they are very much appreciated. Please enjoy the rest of your Saturday.
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There are some fine musings in this place. Unlike the tiresome daily grind the wonderful thing about writing is that nothing is sacred. Saturday has become Sunday, hence I say enjoy your day of rest, young Mia.
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Thank you for the kind words. I’ll have to be on my best behavior to keep up here, on The Mafia, there’s a lot of talent for sure. Wishing Eve’s writing team a wonderful week ahead!
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Mia! I just finished Zen & the Art at last! Quite a read – I may or may not have read it before, (certainly I read a chunk of it, but its hard to remember after all these years) I was out on my motorbike at the weekend and it started malfunctioning – believe me, R. Pirsig was very much present as I rode around thinking what it could be!!
Well his best advice was always to stand back and give it time, so while the situation is as yet unresolved, I’m hoping for divine intervention!! 😀 😀 XX Hope alls well with you? 🙂
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Dear Odgen, how lovely to have Pirsig with you in spirit! Oh yes, always stand back and wait for divine intervention, it could be a while though. I hope you have other transportation options in the mean time! All’s well, thank you. Likewise, wishing you the same. Enjoy your Friday! 🙂 xo
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Very clever and thought provoking.
“unbearable pitch of primal silence”…such great phrases.
…And she hears God say,
“it doesn’t matter who you are,
it doesn’t matter where you’ve been
you need not to be lost,
you can always come home.”
Your exchange with David is very moving. Not surprised considering how talented you both are!
(I love in the prodigal son story, the father running from afar to embrace before the son has even said anything.)
Wonderful post.
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Dear Vanessa, thank you for your lovely comment, I’m super glad you liked the bit about, “primal silence”. I imagine that silence would be our first language, it’s universal, something we all share. The comments can be fun, filled with inspirational and creative banter. David can turn a phrase on its side, like running on the slippery edge of a coin, quite the talent for sure. Thank you again, Vanessa, have a terrific Sunday.
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Hi Mia, Delighted to see you back posting. Loved this, for some reason I kept thinking of a 33 1/3 going round and round, with a slight scratch, and damn it, it’s on my favorite cut on the whole damn album. Shavua tov my friend, we still need to sit together at that awards banquet. Daniel.
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Thank you so much, Daniel, what a lovely thing to say. It’s good to be back and posting. 33 1/3, hopefully it’s just a crackle and not a repeat, although depending where the repeat is could prove to be interesting and enlightening. Black tie? Shavua tov dear Daniel. ~ Mia
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The dark night
of the soul
an take it’s earthly toll.
But there is a clearing
somewhere up above
where the eagle flies
with the dove . . .
and refuge is found
just for the asking.
That flight alway starts
with two feet on the ground.
And a spoonful of truth
for all those truly seeking.
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Never question the message,
and ALWAYS thank the messenger.
With all sincerity, thank you, David.
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Dear Mia,
It’s funny I should re-read this now because I’m in that very place. The only difference is that I’m walking the squalid streets of India looking for a cigarette shop and a good glass of coffee. Everything is eventually funny, which is probably why I’m watching a TV show which involves dark humor and makes fun of things like torture. Oh boy, I’m twisted! I’d cut down on the antihistamine usage though because a petite girl once told me that they dry you up and she was right. And very skinny 😉 So, I guess I’ll just have to endure. I’ll probably have to bite something like a small twig and grunt as fate repeatedly kicks me in the gut. *Aaargh aargh aargh* while more and more and more self doubt consumes me like it consumed you kindred.
Here’s wishing you a great day,
Nitin
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Dear Nitin, thank you for a beautiful comment. I’d like to believe we’re all victims of questionable self-talk from time to time, it doesn’t serve us well and there’s no greater good to it. Unfortunately, realization of this and prevention aren’t always good friends. So, on occasion when some of those nuisance thoughts get through, it’s sometimes a bit of struggle to push them away. Thankfully, and I really do find it true, everything is eventually funny. That’s probably why I follow, “Ask a Mortician” on YouTube (actually she’s very entertaining and informative). Being twisted is underrated, it holds hands with humor! Thank you again, wishing you a wonderful Wednesday! ~ Mia
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Dear Mia, I think some amount of self-doubt is okay. Even optimism is better if it’s tragic optimism. That way it’s grounded in reality. The greatest threats are naïveté and ignorant, idealistic optimism. Those don’t give you cushions when you fall. I’ve been there lol. Terrible place. I should follow ask a mortician but there’s too much dark humour in my life already! I just started watching BoJack Horseman. So once I’m through, maybe… Yes being twisted is underrated because people hate baring their insecurities for the world to see. Thank you for a thoughtful reply. Have a wonderful Saturday – Nitin
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Dear, Nitin, thank you, wishing you a lovely and creative Sunday.
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Such a stark description you paint, and wonderfully there is a small crack in this prison of void you are surrounded by with this post. I hope it allows you to move a bit more so we can see more of you – you are missed 🙂 Hope to see you get swept up in the rebirth and splendor of spring ~ the most opposite of feeling where you are now, 😉
Take care, and look forward to seeing you soon.
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Hi Randall, thank you for your lovely and thoughtful comment. I do take a few liberties with words in order to paint a picture. I see “stark description” as a compliment, I was hopefully my intent would come across. A couple of Fridays ago there were hundreds of thousands of Monarch butterflies in the air. It was amazingly beautiful. This time of year really is the rebirth of everything. Wishing you well, take good care and enjoy your spring time. ~ Mia 🙂
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Definitely a compliment ~ this is what I love about spring. While I do like winter, a time to contemplate and recalibrate, spring is its absolute opposite. You describe it perfectly: thousands of Monarch butterflies in the air… just thinking about such a thing makes me smile. Cheers and take care, Mia, enjoy the day 🙂
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Events like the butterflies are mystical and magical, and it really does bring about a smile. Thank you, Randall, take care as well. 🙂
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