Winner of The Worst Opening Line Contest

Good morning/evening/afternoon/midafternoon/midnight/and midnightsnack, everyone! If that wasn’t one of the worst opening lines of a blog, I don’t know what else is! Oh. Right. You’re all here to hear who wins, officially, for the opening line contest. Well, that’s easy! It is: “This is the opening line of my novel, the one that you are now reading,…

The worst opening line contest

Welcome everyone to the worst opening line contest. Think of a horrible opening line to a novel, short story or essay. It can be redundant, riddled with childish rhymes, vague or flat-out boring. Feel free to use the comments section or your blog (if you’re that inclined to promote our collective!) We will announce the…

Call for Submissions

Hello! So we’re looking to spice things up on Mafia a bit. How can you help? Well, I’m glad you asked our lovely reader. We’ve recently opened up slots for you to be part of our collective. You can do this either by applying to become a general contributor or, if you prefer, post once…

Hey, This is Maureen! – Satire

Holy shit, are you people for real? You have got to be kidding me, you all sound like a bunch of little kids playing make believe. You want me to beg, grovel for your forgiveness? Not going to happen. You can all continue to collectively stroke each others egos in that safe little echo chamber…

La Famiglia (Maureen the Traitor) – Satire

Betrayal (The Informers) You broke the code and you expect us to forgive you? You knew that what happens in the Mafia stays in the Mafia. But you fucked up by sharing our secrets with other collectives and we’ve found you Maureen and now there’s nowhere to hide. I have many questions, but I can’t…

Scarlet Letter

Stones in my hands Coals for eyes Back ramrod straight Cardboard shoulders Stockings run Bloody knees ‘Neath a skirt torn Heft the weight Breathe deep Take aim A sobbing call for justice Memory fades out Remembering His hands upon my flesh Squeezing as I shuddered His fist in my hair pulling Exposing my throat to…

Omertà 3

A Literati Mafia Collaboration: Part III Silence is seen as a treacherous doubled-edged sword in my tumultuous mind. I never knew what silence meant in my daily life. Since a little girl, I have watched my family delve into anger and confusion over money and disagreement. I have seen people stab me in the back…