ragdoll

so much of my life spent punishing myself by choosing & letting myself be chosen by the wrong people people who will hurt & belittle cut me down make me feel like i think i deserve to feel… the rest of my life spent recovering finding myself healing looking for connection fearing connection both seeking…

The Last Dance

I stood out on the deck, staring up at the night sky into the face of the end of the world. Inside, my family and a large group of their friends drank and laughed and danced to old songs, some I remembered, some I didn’t. Upstairs, my two little brothers and the younger kids of…

Terrestrial

Her eyes shine blue, but grey in storm Movements of a dancer Curves, ebbing, flowing, crashing together Ocean waves as flesh Sweet flowing nectar, giving life Ruby jewels parting, shining, enticing Perfect blinding distractions There’s a deeper truth, always going deeper Seeing right through to Leviathan just beneath the surface Eddies swirl A flash of…

succubus

i’m so tired of these feelings of desperation these terrible needs for connection what is real? what is longing? & what is just a big chasm something intrinsically wrong with me? a hole in me a black succubus of love any warm body will do.   © quixotic mama 2018 for more of my art…

Perfectly Imperfect

I didn’t give up on you No, I couldn’t just walk away You tried to hide your face from me And yet I stayed I stayed through the dark hours Through the hot glistening tears I stayed when laughter barked roughly Tearing from your throat Harsh reminders of harsher days I stayed when you had…

déjà vu

Today I feel naked and vulnerable and more than ever I wish I had his arms to lie in. I need him to carry me and speak sense into me and tell me I can be exposed before him. Everything feels like I’m on repeat. I’m sure I’ve done this before. Felt this pit in…

Lonely Shift

Not long ago, something shifted within me. The desire to write continually floods my soul, my fingers tingle with need. But…. the words I want to say, they seem to fall on deaf ears. Everything I write is shit. I start, stop, start again. Papers crumpled on the floor. It’s not for lack of trying….