out of my head

i’m so sick of me i’m so tired of always being in my head i want out not to be someone else just not to be me for a little while or ever… but i’m so rooted rooted in who i am celebrating my shortcomings & downfalls crawling about the labyrinths of my mind cackling…

unraveling me

i need this day to blow itself away as sad sings in my heart & i wonder where does the wonder the wonder i spill from me for the world to see where does the wonder go? is it looked after? cared for… nurtured? these parts of me i share does someone love them? as…

he is the drink

he is the drink that i shouldn’t take the fall from grace the downward spiral to hopelessness & a crippling lack of faith he is the drink i shouldn’t take the step towards no control my soul crumpled on the floor forgotten panties stained & unwanted he is the drink to which i should shout…

my guardian dear

i felt myself replacing trading one obsession for another looking for a new lead in the stories to tell myself at night to keep me from studying eternity & collapsing into my own anxiety stories to help me not be consumed by my own lonely heart and hollow soul i tell myself stories about someone…

ragdoll

so much of my life spent punishing myself by choosing & letting myself be chosen by the wrong people people who will hurt & belittle cut me down make me feel like i think i deserve to feel… the rest of my life spent recovering finding myself healing looking for connection fearing connection both seeking…

this poem is not about laundry

this poem might be about laundry or maybe it’s a memoir about laundry or maybe it is symbolism of what goes wrong a symptom of what is wrong all i know  is we fell in love & we were invincible & life was a game to play even at the laundromat washing and drying and…

the scars we wear

the scars we wear make us interesting the scars we wear make us devastating the scars we wear do not heal when we need them most to heal i wear my scars proudly i wear my scars with profound misery i glorify my scars i fail to hide my scars mostly i joke about my…